Scene I

VALÈRE, M. CARONDAS

1VALÈRE
Frontin!

2M. CARONDAS
No good shall come of that damned name,
I’ve told you so. What if, by some malchance
Before Madame you should address me thus?
Frontin! For a savant? I should think not.
One lapse in your attention’s all we need,
And our philosophy is overturned.

3VALÈRE
Of course.

4M. CARONDAS
We must, at all costs, both abstain
From our more usual tone, for — so you say —
By nature’s right all men most equal are,
And I, though Frontin, am in fact your peer.

5VALÈRE
Indeed, this is my sentiment, I swear.

6M. CARONDAS
And I myself wholeheartedly concur.
For I have always thought the law was wrong;
And Cydalise in one great chapter proves,
Convincingly, I think…

7VALÈRE
You trust the view
Of someone who, essentially, is mad?
Whose mind may be so effortlessly changed?
Her words are just as empty as her head.

8M. CARONDAS
Between us two, the book, it’s truly bad?

9VALÈRE
Useless.

10M. CARONDAS
The style…

11VALÈRE
It’s boring beyond words.

12M. CARONDAS
And yet you flatter her with highest praise!

13VALÈRE
Of course.

14M. CARONDAS
The public?

15VALÈRE
We shall tell them how
To think, to speak, to judge and how to write
We’ll settle this quite easily.

16M. CARONDAS
Of course,
To tame and flatter them remains our aim.

17VALÈRE
No, not at all, in fact just the reverse!
There is a much more certain way.

18M. CARONDAS
How so?

19VALÈRE
For instance, we must speak of them with sneers;46
A strategy adopted by the wise,
It’s most effective, you can be assured.
You’ll see so soon yourself, and marvel too.
For we shall make that woman’s name renowned;
Some bold, revolting, scandalous remarks
Will have the most extraordinary effect
When added to her book.

20M. CARONDAS
A novel trick!
But how to make her think it’s all her work?

21VALÈRE
Is any of it hers? At first she will
Deny it all, then think the author’s her.

22M. CARONDAS
Oh my, I say! I’d simply die of shame!

23VALÈRE
Do you forget she’s of the female sex?
Believe me, cruder things we could have done,
Her pride’s a trait on which we may rely:
In this, all women stubborn creatures are.

24M. CARONDAS
Society wits have nothing on them, true.
But do you think that with such little change,
We can expect the easiest success?

25VALÈRE
Of course! And this idea is nothing new.
The book of Crates47 gives us proof enough.
Never has one man’s work risen so far:
For all spoke ill of it; still do today.
It’s known worldwide as the most dangerous book
And yet we know Crates as a good man.

26M. CARONDAS
It’s true.

27VALÈRE
Our Cydalise will have more fame
The fairer sex is judged with less disdain,
Additions made in secret by our hands
Will shock her audience, cause great delight.
Crates himself will envy how she’s known
And nothing’s simpler, with us on her side.

28M. CARONDAS
Well, brought up in your school Sir, though I am,
I had naively taken at its face
Both book and author. Yet it seems she wrote,
Naught but your own words, Sir.

29VALÈRE
The wretched fool!

30M. CARONDAS
As for those phrases added to her book,
What if the law should come for us, Monsieur?

31VALÈRE
She’ll hear her praises loudly sung abroad;
No matter then if she retracts it all.
Besides, a love of truth can courage breed.
Impressive words, like error, zest and zeal,
And persecution, to her aid will come.48
This ancient strategy always works well.
As guide in this, have we not Socrates:
Oppressed, condemned by his ungrateful land?49
All our admirers would speak with one voice.

32M. CARONDAS
Sir, Socrates himself obeyed the laws.

33VALÈRE
Philosophy, then in its infancy.
Maintained a mask of prejudice, you know.
The time for this is past.

34CARONDAS
All’s then allowed?

35VALÈRE
Except against us and against our friends.

36CARONDAS
Praise be to wit and to philosophy!
For in this life there’s nothing more sublime.

37VALÈRE50
What, virtue on a rocky hill did lie?
The hardy only reached it. Man was lost.
This king of beasts wandered without a guide
Across the oceans, moving with the winds.
But now we know what truly drives mankind.
His motivation’s happiness alone.
In living out his passions he’s fulfilled.
Take them away, and he would soon be left,
To languish aimlessly upon the earth.51
This unseen power, man’s sole driving force
From our philosophy’s no longer hid.
Morality to genius must submit.
And on this Earth we humans rule supreme,
Our private interest at the root of all;
For it alone determines how we act;
Our light and guide in all we say and do.
Thus free from wrong; but bent to interest’s voice
The savage follows it deep in the woods,
To its dominion cultured man does bow;
It governs with one word all things that breathe.

38M. CARONDAS
What? We must follow interest alone?

39VALÈRE
Why, it is vital, nature tells us so.

40M. CARONDAS
It pained me much to fool dear Cydalise;
But now I see that such a thing’s allowed.

41VALÈRE
When fortune calls; why, take it at its word.

42M. CARONDAS
Yes.

43VALÈRE
Frankness is the virtue of a fool.

44M. CARONDAS, preparing to steal from him.
Yes Sir… but then, I do still have my doubts;
They hold me back.

45VALÈRE
Why think such baseless thoughts?
From prejudice be free!

46M. CARONDAS
Speak you the truth?

47VALÈRE
You must find happiness, no matter how.

48M. CARONDAS
You mean that?

49VALÈRE
Yes, in wooing Cydalise,
You do a duty authorised by mores.
Should one not fawn when pleasing company?
To help oneself is nothing but good sense.
‘Our land is full of men who are but fools.’
One sailor’s words to Macedonian kings
Are full of truth.

50M. CARONDAS, fumbling in Valère’s pocket.
Indeed.

51VALÈRE
All property
Ought to be public; but the means exist
To overturn our fate. We can through skill
Attempt to change our stars. It’s simply weak
To moan and languish, stopped by ancient qualms.
(noticing Carondas trying to steal from him)
What are you doing there?

52M. CARONDAS
Self-interest…
This hidden law… Sir… that inspires us all,
And governs every man that ever lived…

53VALÈRE
What! Traitor, steal from me?

54M. CARONDAS
No. It’s my right…
All goods are common.

55VALÈRE
Fine, but have more skill!
For there are risks to which we are exposed,
When taken by surprise.

56M. CARONDAS
Sir, I’ll take care.

57VALÈRE
From this, good Monsieur Frontin, you should learn;
But since that name is no longer allowed,
You now shall help me out with Cydalise.
For now, all’s well; to Rose I am betrothed.
You know too well my thoughts on this affair.
So please, proceed to flatter where you can.
Your wise scholastic terms have wonders wrought;
Continue, pray, to fill her head with words;
With all that jargon which has worked before.
You have no fortune, and yet here you might
Begin to change your destiny; I’ll help,
If this procures the end I so desire.
Adieu, please be discreet, and I’ll be fair.

Scene II

M. CARONDAS, alone.

58My first attempt was not the best, it’s true.
To match my model, I have far to go,
For now, I’m destined for the second rate.

Scene III

CYDALISE, M. CARONDAS

59CYDALISE, without seeing M. Carondas.
At long last of those idlers I am rid.
How sloth is dull when one desires to think!
From all those bores with whom I was obsessed,
I never heard the germ of an idea.
Such insult to good sense cannot be borne;
But tiresome family, tolerate we must.
(To M. Carondas)
Ah, good! you’re here! Now please, Sir, take your place.
With just a little work on the preface,
My book will soon be done. But I had hoped
That Valère might be here.

60M. CARONDAS
He’s leaving now;
Of you, Madame, we talked with so much joy.

61CYDALISE
Did you speak of my book?

62M. CARONDAS
He cannot stop.
He says its immortality is sure;
You will surpass the greats of every age.
My judgement I cannot compare with his;
But oh! my wonder heightens with each page.

63CYDALISE
It pleases you?

64M. CARONDAS
My mind is all confused.
Your book with such deep knowledge is replete;
Your word on Socrates’ demon I would trust.52

65CYDALISE
You know it well.

66M. CARONDAS
Yes Ma’am, that’s what they say.
But tell me then, how did this come about?
You must know everything which has been writ.

67CYDALISE
With many learned people I have met,
It’s pure and simple chance.

68M. CARDONAS
You were inspired.
But what! Have you not read the great Vossius?53

69CYDALISE
Never.

70M. CARONDAS
Casaubon?54

71CYDALISE
Even less.

72M. CARONDAS
Grotius?55

73CYDALISE
Not once. So are these books by women writ?

74M. CARONDAS
Good god, Madame, you shock me more and more,
You really know nothing of this?

75CYDALISE
It’s true.

76M. CARONDAS
But of the law you speak so mighty well.
And surely Tribonien56 you must…

77CYDALISE
I don’t.

78M. CARONDAS
At least you know Thales? Democritus?57

79CYDALISE
No.

80M. CARONDAS
Le Fils naturel?58

81CYDALISE
Yes, that I know.
These are the works we must above all quote.

82M. CARONDAS
On this point I can’t claim authority,
But, like you, I did judge it by its name.

83CYDALISE
I earnestly agree. In one small trait
The greatness of a work is plain to see.
By a je ne sais quoi… one’s soul is seized
A feeling… genius draws us by its skill.

84M. CARONDAS
I see. It’s like steam rising from a stew
Which rouses both the sense of smell and taste.

85CYDALISE
Well yes, but that analogy is crude.

86M. CARONDAS
It’s from Lycophron.59

87CYDALISE
Ah! That changes things.
Let’s talk of my preface. I shall dictate.
(After a long silence, emphatically.)
Write this: I lived.60 No, that’s no way to start.
Erase, I lived. Please put yourself at ease.
(Tartly.)
Oh! Monsieur Carondas your pen is poor.
(Pensive.)
I lived means nothing.

88M. CARONDAS
I’d be satisfied.
I lived means much!

89CYDALISE
No, Monsieur, I desire
A philosophical and striking start.

90M. CARONDAS
But such simplicity is good, Madame.

91CYDALISE, dreaming.
No, no, I want a phrase that has more weight.
(With humour.)
Such ghastly paper I have never seen!
Erase that, Sir; your ink is truly foul.
(Pensive.)
Alas, I cannot find a better phrase!
(Impatiently.)
And after all, Valère ought to be here.
When I’m with him I’m so inspired with wit.
(Pensive.)
What! Not even a thought? Oh! woe is me.

92M. CARONDAS
Why, inspiration comes and goes, you see?
This calls to mind the words of wise Souidas,61
Who said with style…

93CYDALISE
My! Monsieur Cardonas,
Forget the dead. I had the perfect phrase
(She thinks.)
But it escapes my mind. Wait… yes, this time…
(Impatiently.)
Write this! But no, that phrase is too obscure.
I never felt such intellectual drought,
I’ve had enough, I give up on this task!
The publisher awaits, give him my work.
Wait no, come back. At last I’ve found the words!
Write this: ‘Young man, take up this book and read.’62
Young man, take this and read. Is that not fine?
Tell me your thoughts, Monsieur…

94M. CARONDAS
Grand and sublime!
It has an air of true intelligence.

95CYDALISE
In reading it, my woes are all forgot.
Young man, take this and read. It is unmatched,
Valère, therefore, will find it most august.

96M. CARONDAS
You seem to tremble, shaken by your phrase.
Young man, take this and read. There speaks a sage;
Nature will thus reveal its beauteous face.
Why, nothing’s so sublime, yet modest too.

97CYDALISE
But what does Marton want?

Scene IV

MARTON, CYDALISE, M. CARONDAS

98MARTON
Ma’am it’s Damis;
He wants to speak with you.

99CYDALISE
At such a time!
Without his interruption I’d be done!
That tiresome man won’t leave me to my work.

100MARTON
Valère will see it’s done.

101M. CARONDAS
What say you ‘done’?
The book is writ, Madame, it is complete.
And ten years hence it still shall be revered.

102CYDALISE
You’re right. Make twenty copies of it, go.
I breathe at last! The work was worth the pain.
Young man, take this and read! Damis, come in.

Scene V

DAMIS, CYDALISE

103CYDALISE
You’re back again?

104DAMIS
Why yes, Madame, I am.
To seek compassion and expose my soul.
I see too clearly, with no little pain,
That I have lost my dear place in your heart,
Our friendship, once so close, seems sorely changed.
But in my mind our souls are allied still.
Allow me to recall to you a hope
That time should not have cast out from your mind.
Your daughter, as you know, to me is dear:
To you and to her father this was clear.
Today your blessing I shall seek once more,
For all I need from you is your consent.

105CYDALISE
Your memory, I admit, is quite correct;
And I was wrong to hint that my esteem;
The friendship that once bound me tight to you,
Should no longer be sentiments I trust,
Indeed, I should have said this from the start:
But I was most deceived by wit and charm,
And privileged too long the foolish wrongs
Of my beloved world… By age I’m changed.
The day has come to choose philosophy,
To free myself from judgement’s heavy yoke,
At last existing only for the truth.
I’ve formed a learned company of men,
In number few, but wise: they share my life.
I learn to think through studying their books:63
I’ve chosen one of these to be my son,
And on this eve my hopes will be fulfilled.
It’s up to you to judge if, though your friend,
I thus should sacrifice to you my joy.

106DAMIS
Madame, I would do anything for you,
Your friendship will inspire me ever more.
But what could be the benefits, pray tell,
Of spending time with all these learned men?
I certainly can’t see as ‘wise’ these frauds;
These charlatans, performing for the crowd,
And showing off so-called philosophy:
My sense won’t let me trust these boastful men.
Such spectacle may lure the common herd.
But I am not so easily drawn in:
More apt to ask who’s truly wisdom’s friend,
And who instead a pedant, peddling rot.64

107CYDALISE
To pedants I’ll admit we owe contempt,
And I distinguish them from sages true.
Please spare me, dear Monsieur, your bitter scorn,
For those I name, Théophraste and Valère,
Dortidius, they are all widely known…

108DAMIS
Of them I know only Dortidius.
So he’s among them?

109CYDALISE
Why such great surprise?

110DAMIS
I knew him; please excuse my being frank:
It seems back then he hid his game quite well:
A fool he was; he near admitted so.
When we were introduced, despite his smirk,
The dull and hackneyed compliments he spoke,
The sickly sweetness of his honeyed words,
I never found him witty, great or wise.
Despite his tone, and his affected air,
I couldn’t find him worthy of respect.
In short, I saw him merely as a man
Whose cold enthusiasm drew in fools.

111CYDALISE
Such prejudice insults your common sense,
For Dortidius brings honour to our land.
By learned men he’s always been esteemed,
I cannot grasp why men speak ill of him.
But let us leave this matter. Speak instead,
Of what I gain by living with the wise:
Of this, I was to tell you, was I not?
And then, perhaps, you’ll censure them again.
No matter; at least see them as they are.
Once prejudice destroyed my very soul;
In vain my reason struggled to be free,
And habit soon returned me to my ways.
The most delusive terrors drove me mad:
Fearing thunder; swearing ghosts were real.
Admitting these absurdities, I blush,
But we are raised on just such futile fears,
And thus they are impressed upon our minds.
The trifling, useless schooling we receive,
Instead of shining light on right and wrong;
It teaches naught but how to hide our faults.
My eyes were opened, though perhaps too late!
Through these most blessed men I am reborn.
Once chance alone determined whom I loved:
My relatives were those I most adored,
According to their closeness to myself.
The same scheme to my learning I applied;
I had all this — and so much more — quite wrong.
But since my soul has found a different road,
Philosophy has purified my mind
Which now can see the whole world as my kin;
Thus moved by sensibility alone,
Humanity is now my only care.

112DAMIS
Though this may cause displeasure, to my ear
This word ‘humanity’ is without weight,
And by so many rogues I hear it said
I’d wager they’d agreed to spread its fame.65
They want to make it something of a trend.
A worthy and convenient veil, it seems,
To mask the dullness of their point of view.
And lend some beauty to their dreary tones.
Among the men who preach it without end
Are few who have compassion for the poor,
Who show themselves, in times of need, to be
More generous, or humane, or sincere,
To put aside their own profane desires,
To overlook the errors of their kin,
To praise the worthy, to, in short, seek out
The way to be a better citizen;
In faith, to tell the truth, I’d like to swear,
They love the human race, but hate all men.

113CYDALISE
You hold against humanity some deep grudge.

114DAMIS
The word is much abused; I hate the sound.
It is a sentiment too large for man,
I’ve even seen, in contrast too extreme,
That those who vaunt the notion most of all,
Abandon their own child, yet love the world.66

115CYDALISE
We must, Monsieur, have pity on the wise,
For you’re an enemy that they should fear.
Our time and our great land have praised in vain,
‘Twas better to be deaf to all their words,
And serve to amplify such envious thoughts.

116DAMIS
What good has this philosophy produced?
I really cannot fathom its success.
I see around me self-important fools,
Who take on airs by joining with a sect,
And think thus to have raised themselves in worth.
Establishing a court and devotees,
They claim they save the poor, unfortunate arts,
Quite unaware of all of satire’s stings.
Of mocking laughter, these men take no heed,
Though it may ring about them as they go;
Admiring, praising, loving all abroad,
And all the while degrading their own land,67
Is this the great success that we must praise?

117CYDALISE
Your reasons I admire, they have some weight;
You cite me choice examples which I’ll grant
Are apt to press your cause. But never has
An insult such as this proved any truth.
Think you mere trifles would affect my view?

118DAMIS
Madame, I see these horrors more and more.
Mark me, through them our morals will decline,
And I’m appalled by all these philosophes.

119CYDALISE
Well then, think what you will, my good Monsieur.
For you it’s clear there’s no cure to be had.
Refusing absolutely to be swayed,
Too credulous for reason to win out.

120DAMIS
You think you’ve said it all, with that one word.
That ‘credulous’ is equal to ‘a fool’:
To many men it seems that’s all too clear:
But I’m less certain of this strident view,
Which neither can persuade me, nor strike fear,
My own view I hold firm; if they’re displeased,
My censure’s aimed at them. I know my mind,
Believing what I must, I state it proud.68
These men may laugh, it makes no odds to me:
Why, let them find enjoyment where they will.
But I in turn will see them as mere fools,
Quite stupid in their incredulity.69

121CYDALISE
I praise these words, pronounced in such good sense,
And shan’t deny your right to have your say.
But without straying further from the point,
I know how much I owe to those great men,
Enlightened, whom you deign to persecute.

122DAMIS
You owe to them the teaching of great truths?
That I cannot believe. They may destroy,
But nurture no, and certainly not teach.
What fruits expect you from their arguments?
Only too well I see how they will harm:
You’ll follow in their path of sophistry,
Be blinded in the night of Pyrrhic fate.
Renounce your ties to those who do disrupt,
It’s they who persecute, instead of I.
Reject these thoughts, unfitting as they are.
And rediscover, Ma’am, your former self.

123CYDALISE
Have you now ended, Sir, your long tirade?
Your reasoning has strength, and much good sense.
I see your merit shines in brilliance;
It changes naught, you shall not have my girl.
Goodbye, Monsieur.
(She leaves.)

124DAMIS
Oh God! What shall I do?

Scene VI

CRISPIN, DAMIS

125CRISPIN
Did you good progress make in your attack?
The marriage is back on? For Cydalise…

126DAMIS
It’s she to whom I spoke just now, in vain!
I must renounce my dreams of Rosalie.

127CRISPIN
But why?

128DAMIS
I am dismissed.

129CRISPIN
Once and for all?

130DAMIS
Once and for all.

131CRISPIN
How so? We try so hard
To please, yet she elects Valère instead?
And nothing to be done?

132DAMIS
I cannot think.

133CRISPIN
Please, have no fear, I see another way.
All we must do is kidnap Rosalie.
The quickest way.

134DAMIS
What folly do you voice?
You count on her consent? You know her well,
Thus speak you to me so?

135CRISPIN
A mere idea.
But since you have rejected it, we’ll choose
A far more certain path. I’ll find Valère
And speak to him with such a furious force,
That he will surely flee their house tonight.

136DAMIS
That seems to me a better plan indeed,
But Cydalise?

137CRISPIN
Yes?

138DAMIS
She will be outraged.
There’s no more certain way to raise her ire,
And have me sent away for ever more.

139CRISPIN
Well then it’s down to my audacious plan,
Through which I shall enlighten Cydalise,
And chase these false indulgers from her house.
Then finally some credit I’ll be due,
And if Marton should lend her help besides,
To reason you will see Madame submit.

140DAMIS, initially with joy.
Ah! Crispin… yet, I’m loathe to fully trust…

141CRISPIN, emphatically.
I want her torn between Valère and me.
You don’t yet know the reaches of my powers;
My model is Democrites’ Strabo.70

142DAMIS
You?

143CRISPIN
Yes, for I’ve played many, varied roles:
A wise man once employed me as his scribe;71
I could have made the royal authors’ list;72
At least, that’s what he told me, full of praise.

144DAMIS
It’s so?

145CRISPIN
Already I had many fans;
But oh! he did me wrong when off he fled,
Eschewing honours, living in the woods.
It’s true he knew not artifice nor plots.
It was philosophy that filled his head,
With righteousness and stubborn innocence.
A cynical and misanthropic beast,
He truly was a mad and singular fool.

146DAMIS
How can I listen when I’m in such pain?

Scene VII

MARTON, DAMIS, CRISPIN

147MARTON
Good Sir, we must cast light upon your woes;
Come on, some joy!

148DAMIS
And what do you suggest?

149MARTON
Well, let’s begin by laughing at your plight.

150CRISPIN
Oh yes, let’s laugh.

151DAMIS
I’m in such deep despair.

152MARTON
Then think not on it; banish your black thoughts.

153CRISPIN
I think the woman must have lost her mind.

154MARTON
And smile.

155DAMIS
Marton…

156MARTON
Console yourself, I said.

157DAMIS
Whatever can this mean?

158MARTON
You’ll soon find out.
Yes, you’re amongst the luckiest of swains.