Chapter Fourteen
The Parachute Paradox | Decolonizing the Imagination. A Memoir from Palestine
p. 403-412
Note de l’éditeur
Excerpt from the award-winning memoir The Parachute Paradox, first published by Kerber Verlag in 2016, on self-liberation and the colonisation of the imagination1. The memoir begins with a prologue and unfolds in a countdown from chapter 15 to chapter 0.
Texte intégral
Everland

2020 | A photo-collage of Palestinian embroidery. In the museum collection of the Arab World Institute in Paris.
Source: Steven Sabella, https://stevesabella.space/pages/everland
Prologue
1When I got home, I raced against time to pack and get to Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv. I was exhausted, and dreaded the usual three hours of questioning and interrogation by Israeli airport security.
Shalom, meh eyfo ata?
Hello, where are you from?
2In a Hebrew accent, while gargling the R in Yerushalayim, I said,
Ani meh Yerushalayim.
I come from Jerusalem.
3She continued,
Where exactly do you come from?
4If I answered with "East Jerusalem”, it would be assumed I was an Arab. And if I answered with “West Jerusalem”, they would suspect I was Jewish. I replied,
Antonia Street,
The Old City.
5She checked my passport, but my place of origin was still not clear to her. She asked me for my father’s name,
Emile.
Your mother’s?
Espérance.
Your grandfather’s?
Antone.
What is the origin of the name Sabella?
Sicilian.
Do you celebrate Hanukkah?
Why not.
Do you celebrate Christmas?
Sure.
6She was hesitant to ask if I was an Arab or Palestinian Arab. To speed things up, I told her I came from Jerusalem. The Arab one. All I wanted was to board the plane and close my eyes.
What is your occupation?
Artist.
I also work as a photographer for the UN.
7I showed her my press card.
Where were you before you arrived at the airport?
8I couldn’t tell her I had just been kidnapped in Gaza. She would consider it a security threat and definitely not allow me to board the plane.
In Jerusalem.
And why are you going to Switzerland?
To have a holiday with my wife and daughter.
My wife is Swiss.Why are you traveling alone?
Why do you work for the UN?
Have you traveled to Gaza with the UN?
Why do you live in Jerusalem?
Why don’t you live in Switzerland?
When did your family settle in Jerusalem?
Why is your name Steve?
9The questions were endless, and the first security guard was replaced by a second, and the second by a third, until the chief of security was called. I kept repeating the same narrative. Again and again. I had to be consistent and not make any mistakes.
10Listen to me. This is my story. No matter how long you interrogate me, it will not change. Either you let me go home to Jerusalem, or you let me board the flight to Switzerland. Let’s get this over with.
11They gave in, allowed me to board after a conspicuous bag check and a full body search, escorted me to the plane like a VIP, and finally left me. I found my seat, sat down, and leaned back to close my eyes for the first time in two days. But every time I heard the click of a seatbelt, I woke up startled—it sounded like the cocking of the kidnappers’ guns.
12I opened my restless eyes and spotted a man watching me. He was black, and I imagined for a moment that he was the man the kidnappers released that morning. When he noticed that I spotted him, he unbuckled his seatbelt, walked over, and sat down on the aisle seat next to me. He spread open a newspaper and pointed to a photograph,
Is this you?
13It showed a woman and me with guns and masks all around us. The bold title read, “UN Workers Freed in Gaza”. I fell into my seat and said,
Sometimes, the answer is right there in front of you!
14Up in the air, I traveled to the time I went skydiving in Haifa. On the tarmac, the plane looked like it hadn’t flown since the 1967 War. After takeoff, the engine roared as if it could fail any second, wildly shaking as it reached the sky. When the time had come, I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned out of the open door against the rushing wind. With little thought, I did it. I let go. I was flying in the air. I felt light, less burdened by what was happening below. I felt identity-less, free from all the labels and classifications, free from racism and discrimination. Free from the Israeli Occupation I was born into.
15But I didn’t open the parachute. I was in a tandem jump, attached to an Israeli. Over the years, I have come to see this situation in the air as a metaphor for what it means to be a Palestinian born under Israeli Occupation. Life under Occupation is like the reality of a Palestinian attached to an Israeli in a tandemjump. There is an Israeli on the back of every Palestinian, controlling all aspects of life—the Israeli is always in control. This impossible reality places the Palestinian under constant threat, in a never-ending hostage situation.
16On the ground, I struggled with paralyzing depression that sank to new lows year after year. But I knew my journey would have to be one of self-interrogation and liberation. With the speed of the fall, I felt Francesca’s presence. Over the years, we had built our own world, rooted only in our imagination.
Chapter 0
17This is not the end of the story but the beginning of the story. There is an Other in all of us. Each Other. The time has come to stop drawing borders and start drawing our future. And the future is now. We are a speck of nothing in the equation of the universe. Yet, from nothing, everything is possible. The state of darkness is the state of all creation. We can all rise from ground zero, and zero is a great place to start, hit the reset button, and begin a new chapter.
Writing is a way to go home. Painting is being at home.
18Those were Kamal Boullata’s words. Through the power of drawing reality, I found my home. Only beauty emerged when one delved into Kamal’s world to listen to razor-sharp words, words that always came out from the heart. Kamal had a distinctive voice, the tone of a Master narrator. You seldom wished to hear the end of his stories. He was true to himself, and one word that echoes in me which he always said with energy,
Forward.
19And the only way forward in our journey of liberation is forward. Kamal passed away not long ago in Berlin, where he had lived his last eight years, and against all the odds, he was laid to rest on a Jerusalem hill looking over the Mount of Olives, near my father’s grave. I was fortunate to see Kamal two weeks before he departed. After the night I visited him with Michos, who was in Berlin by chance, I flew to Jerusalem, our city of birth. He looked young, energized, inspired, speaking about ongoing projects. His words were vivid, transporting us into many worlds. Since we first met, Kamal shared his knowledge without conditions. Kamal was an outstanding scholar who added to the layers of history new threads that weave the past effortlessly to the future. He based his theory on observation enriched in being in the moment. And there, he never wished to be in the center, choosing to wander over the peripheries of life. But life found more than one way to push him naturally to the center.
20One cannot speak to Kamal without details. During a visit to his house, I heard him suddenly get loud, laughing on the phone with the poet Adonis. I thought a star fell down from the sky. The matter was that they spotted one missing comma in a poetry book they were co-editing. This was a great lesson to pay attention to the delicate and vibrant fabric of life.
21Kamal was an expert on the literature of the soul, on the language of life. Every conversation with him was about essence, about true being. As for his art, his visuals are mirrors of pure light, transparent like the soul. Kaleidoscopic. Always changing. They capture your vision upon first glance, and the deeper one looks, the closer one reaches a central point, one that resides in the self. And once there, it becomes inevitable to see Kamal’s clairvoyant colors float in an endless rhythmic dance.
22Kamal inspired many in his life, and I feel his journey has just begun. His departure is not a loss but a reward to all humanity. They forced him to leave Palestine, but Palestine never left him. And Jerusalem was always at the center of Kamal’s heart. Seeing how he lived his life, he was one of my beliefs that to be born in Jerusalem, or anywhere else, means one is always becoming a citizen of planet Earth.
23Just before the Coronavirus engulfed our reality, I was one out of forty people from all over the world chosen to be part of a co-action creative group to counter extremism through arts and culture. Our first encounter was in Venice on that weekend when it drowned, was in a state of emergency. And that’s how we all felt about the state of the world, weeks before the virus invasion. On wide whiteboards, we started drawing a new image of the world as we imagined it. Our second encounter was in Brussels, and our mission was to transform this imagination into reality before we headed to Washington, D.C., to decide on the action. None of us argued, agreed, or disputed. All of our conversations started with an and, where everyone contributed, adding to the bigger picture, which we all solve together. The I was silenced, replaced by what we can do to create a world based on global awareness.
24The shared stories, visions, and honest words transformed many of us. I had one hour to spare before my trip to the clouds, finding myself strolling aimlessly around the streets of Brussels. But the universe has no wrong answers. The sun was shining in the blue sky, warming the cold street corridors. I looked at the sun with my eyes closed, accepting its rays and whatever they carried with them. And then I felt a new state of freedom, that as long as there is one person left who imagines a better world, life has a chance. And there is more than one person. There are many, all waiting for their ideas and dreams to be weaved together by cosmic light. The seeds are all out there looking for the right ground to flourish. And they can with the blink of an eye. Until then, the ground we are all looking for is wherever we are, and the seeds are right there nested in us.
25I was in a state of bliss. And the moment my canvas found me in the light-room, I transformed that state of bliss into Everland inspired by when we were divided into groups during one morning session and asked to invent an imaginary home on an island, to draw it together, and then give it a name. One idea led to the other, from Noland, to the inverse of Neverland.
26Everland is the land of Palestine, with roots stretching everywhere. And like never before, Palestine has fallen off the map of the world—sidelined, lost its center. Everland is a photo collage of Palestinian embroidery, a tradition passed from generation to generation by women who sew patterns and motifs to reveal their heritage, ancestry, and place of origin. Palestinian embroidery is proof of presence that no power can uproot from the people’s imagination, a celebration of collective identity and narrative that gets renewed, awakened every time we see or touch its beauty. But given Palestine’s history, the beauty pierces the heart. I remember my mother and sisters engaging with it when I was a child living in Jerusalem’s Old City. The process was one of meditation where one spends endless hours traveling from one tiny square to another, feeling invited to explore the self and its truths. Given the richness of colors and shapes, one inevitably enters a state of trance.
27Everland is not stitched with cotton, wool, or silk, but with digital threads weaved on a new fabric of life, on the fabric of light. And if the light falling on the earth is always new, how can we stay the same? We are creatures of light. And the light shines in all the colors of the world, creating the threads of our life. And it is up to us how we weave them together. Every time Everland is displayed, its nine squares will be put in a different constellation, including their orientation to any side. This way, Everland will always have endless possibilities, creating a new visual, forever changing.
28Everland celebrates all the beauty that comes out of Palestine, a place where everything gets disrupted. Yet, the collage enables the cross stitches to penetrate deep into new borders, creating unique designs, connections that look as if they represent every other culture to reveal the spirit of the world. We are all from everywhere and nowhere. Poetically, we are all from elsewhere. And that nowhere is the everland we are all searching for. Getting there is an extraordinary journey of endless discovery.
29Kamal described my work for the foreword of my monograph as a dream. But Kamal’s last words were a dream within a dream. I dedicate Everland to the spirit of Kamal Boullata, who left us with two books, treasures, whose titles alone reveal the greatest symphony of life:
There Where You Are Not
&
Uninterrupted Fugue
30We are all interconnected by visible threads of life, part of a much larger picture, which we all contribute to together. And if we are to remain in the cosmic picture, we must inject into ourselves the image of a better world, and this time not keeping the vision still in its dream. We are in the era of essence, imagination, and hard work, like never before.
31Imagine, is the strongest word I know. It has the power to change all realities, creating infinite possibilities. We live in an era where the power of the free mind and imagination is controlled and contaminated, also like never before. Possibilities and infinity are interconnected. There are infinite possibilities. And imagination, like infinity, cannot be measured, which gives the imagination limitless power. And the same power is in all of us.
32And as you read my endings lines now, I recall Brother Robert Wise, my first mentor who taught me about the essence of life when I wanted to suck all the air out in the horrid mouse experiment so that I feel life first. Wise taught me about computer models, how to code, create software from scratch. Now, I code resorting to the mechanics of light that has embedded in it all the secrets of life. Through the lens of art, through the lens that leads to the dark chamber in my camera, I was able to design new realities, and in the process, I designed a new self that updates every day. My relationship with the image is like being on a space odyssey, in search of understanding image formation. And since an image is part of the imagination, unlocking the code allowed me to see beyond my reality.
33Wise saw how I looked at problems from multiple angles. I always thought there is a solution at the other end of every problem. Focusing on the problem only magnifies it, while looking at the solution opens windows of possibilities.
34We should hit the reset button, reorder our program, reset its data memory to allow for a rebirth to happen so that life always feels like a new beginning, a new order. The world we put together will never be perfect, but in life, we should all do what we can to make the world a better place, nothing less, nothing more. A great way forward is not to fight what’s there but to create what’s not there.
35In the world of art, there is no reality, only imagination. As long as there is one Palestinian left who imagines a free Palestine, the Occupation has no chance. The time has come for the language of life. My awareness of life intensified when I learned the be in Berlin—to just be, and let be. I learned to process life without filters. To look at reality and see it as it is and then go deeper and beyond. We can only do this when we focus, eliminate all clutter, noise, and distortion in our endless journey inwards, towards the soul. And because the soul does not like to be lied to, I quickly learned to be honest with myself and focus on things that matter.
36Palestinians will continue to resist till the end, till the last Palestinian. The fighting has shifted from one of liberating the land to one of liberating the self and the colonized imagination. Freedom is a universal truth. We are all born free. No freedom council like the UN, or governing bodies like the EU, or governments like that of the United States, and definitely not of Israel, get to decide who is free or not. Palestinians should stop waiting for arbitrarily set dates to obtain their individual independence. Independence day is today, and everyone should declare it.
37Israel was established to create a Jewish nation so that the Jewish people could have a state of their own and control their own destinies. Palestinians will not accept anything less than the same. Would you live under any sort of Occupation?
38Many Palestinians feel that Israel has the right to kill them, that the international community has failed to force Israel to comply with international law. Instead of facing the consequences for its crimes against humanity, Israel benefits from protection. Israel has isolated itself, creating fake peace and spreading the propaganda that Palestinians do not want peace. But there has not been any real intention to ever end The Occupation. Israel’s governments expanded it strategically so that it would never end.
39Ilan Pappé, an Israeli historian and social activist, stated in an interview,
The endgame is still implementing the initial Zionist program of having as much of Palestine as possible with as few Palestinians in it as possible. It may sound like a tactic, but in Israel, this is a strategy if not an ideology—namely part of life in a daily routine of continuing to oppress the Palestinians… This is a source of income for many, many people in this country. Ultimately, it is not a state that has an army and a police force; it is an army and police force that have a state.
The last Israeli attack on Gaza has to be put in a longer historical context. It is just another point in a long history that probably stretches back to the very beginning of the Zionist project in Palestine in the late 19th century. Zionism in essence, is a settler colonialist project, very much in the same mould as such projects in Africa, Australia and the Americas, the only difference being it has not as yet completed its ambitions.
40Around six million Palestinians live in the diaspora today, another six million live within Israel’s borders, and almost four and a half million of them live without the right to vote, without a voice. In polls asking the Israeli public if they preferred a democratic or a Jewish state, the majority chose the latter. Israelis do not want a bi-national state with equal rights for all its citizens, but they also reject the establishment of an independent Palestinian state. Therefore, they choose The Occupation.
41The Jewish people know better than anyone else what it means to be persecuted and targeted because of their beliefs, the way one looks or thinks, or even just is. Israelis do want peace, but they want it while expanding settlements and controlling Palestinian life in the name of their own security. Real peace comes when we see the other with respect, as an equal.
42History has proven that peace on colonized land starts when the colonizer publicly acknowledges what it has done. The first step in finding peace between Israelis and Palestinians is for the Israeli government to give an apology from the heart to all the Palestinian people.
43Israel should apologize for every tree they cut down, every village they erased. For expelling natives from their lands. For settling in Palestinian homes, for stealing their property. Israel should apologize for the millions of stranded refugees and for not allowing the vast majority ever to set foot on their land again. Israel should apologize for trying to erase Palestinian culture, for fragmenting Palestinian society, for injecting fear into Palestinians and Israelis. For fabricating history. Israel should apologize for twisting international law, for subjugating millions to live in open-air prisons, for using Gaza as a battlefield and a testing ground for modern weaponry. For degrading Palestinian life. Israel should apologize to all the people, including the children it has killed. For murdering their dreams.
44When Cécile and I talk, we often start with,
Imagine . . .
45For many years, The Occupation held my life hostage, but in my dreams, I was always free. Once I learned how to change my own consciousness, my imagination became my reality to live reality as a dream.
46As for liberating the land of Palestine, I leave it to our collective imagination.
Notes de bas de page
1The Parachute Paradox won the 2017 Eric Hoffer Award and the 2016 Nautilus Book Award, both for best memoirs. First published in 2016 in a hardcover limited and hand-numbered edition of 1250 + 150APs + 150 for media by Kerber Verlag, Germany. Bestseller rating. Second edition published in 2021.
Auteur
-
Steve Sabella
Steve SABELLA, an accomplished artist and author, has cultivated a distinctive artistic style that has garnered him numerous awards and accolades. Born in Jerusalem, Palestine, and based in Berlin since 2010, Sabella’s work serves as a compelling expression of his life and experiences. Widely acclaimed for his bold artwork, he delves into themes of identity, displacement, exile, the repercussions of colonisation, liberation, and the broader human condition, celebrating the resilience of the human spirit.
In 2023, as part of their 25th-anniversary celebration, Smart Mercedes published a creative book called “Always Unconventional,” featuring Sabella and a commissioned essay on art as a powerful tool for liberation. In 2008, Sabella received the Ellen Auerbach Award by nomination from the Akademie der Künste in Berlin, leading to a monograph study covering twenty years of his art published by Hatje Cantz (Berlin, 2014) with texts by Hubertus von Amelunxen, president of the European Graduate School in Switzerland, and a foreword by artist and art historian Kamal Boullata who described Sabella’s work as a dream to discover.
Sabella is the author of the award-winning memoir The Parachute Paradox, first published by Kerber Verlag in 2016, tackling the colonisation of the imagination.
Sabella earned a master’s degree in Photographic Studies at the University of Westminster, London, graduating with a Caparo Award of Distinction (2008) and earned his second master’s in Art Business at Sotheby’s Institute of Art, London (2009).

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